Meaning?

You aren’t supposed to matter. And you aren’t supposed to question your purpose. In the sense that you are here on this planet for the sole reason that your parents wanted to produce offspring. As was their purpose. And as is yours. To reproduce and keep the species alive. Just like any other animal out there. Just like Nature wanted you to be.

Now Nature, quite unlike the pictures of green leaves and pretty flowers that come into your mind, is a machine – of chaos. It is random and relentless. Made of millions of parts, well oiled, and constantly grinding its gears, it never stops. We as beings merely form a tiny part of this humungous contraption. No matter how much we think we’re taking over the world, with our advanced brains and ever-changing technology, chaos always will prevail in the end. We can only serve as guinea pigs to what the future may hold.

As such, it is futile to think there is a meaning to all of this. That we are spiritual beings and our minds, vast temples of knowledge and experience that get filled as we go on in life, is a notion that is of course, very romantic. And we would all like to believe it’s true. But the question is, how do you really ‘find yourself’? What does that even mean? People think they can come across a sense of self that they didn’t have before. But all that is a sham. There is no ‘real’ you. There is no higher level to you. It’s all an illusion. Our mind is a drug that gives us grandiosity and security in our importance. Even though we do not matter to the universe in any way. It doesn’t matter where we’ve come from or where we’re going. We are what we are. Inconsequential. And that’s all we are. Mere bystanders witnessing a game that’s been going on way before we were here, and that’s going to be going on way after we’re all gone.

Yet we all continue to take comfort in our own false worlds where everything is good and right and everything is about us. They say that you write your life story. And I suppose that’s meant to give us the notion that we’re in control. In control of what we do and what is done to us. And I believe the idea of that makes us feel good. It makes us feel like we’re in power. Like we can make a difference. Like we’re important. And really that’s something we all want to be.

Every single one of us, including me, have these voices that whisper in our ears how important and indispensable we are. And no matter what we say, we all like to believe these voices. Maybe it’s how we’re built. Maybe validation keeps us functioning. Maybe in the end we just want to be acknowledged. Maybe deep down we all know we are irrelevant and we don’t want to be so. And I think that is important.

So if you’re reading this, I acknowledge you. You may not matter to the universe, but you do to me.